How to Write a Strong Will
In my experience the world is full of people walking around feeling confident they’ve unlocked Adulting Level 7 because they have a cheeky template will safely tucked away in their bank deposit box or stashed in an envelope in the top-draw of their desk.
And rightly so. Having a will is unarguably a high ranking level when it comes to the game of Adulting. Ensuring your loved ones are looked after on the off chance you don’t make it to lunch time, is a very grown-up thing indeed.
If you have a will that will hold up…
Unfortunately it’s also my experience that the world is full of people walking around feeling confident they’re winning at Adulting because they have a good will, when in actual fact they don’t.
No word of a lie, nothing breaks my heart more than someone stealing the last Fruchoc from the bag, than receiving a phone call from a family who has just had a loved one die and they’re swimming, no drowning, in a monumentally huge puddle of fresh hell that’s been created by a rubbish will.
For a long time I used to say “any will is better than no will”, and I truly believed that. However, in the last two years when it’s been my business to triage the fall out from poorly written wills I’ve entirely changed my mind.
Having no will is reckless. It’s like riding a motorbike backwards, with no helmet, wearing stilettos (ok clearly I don’t actually ride a motorbike but you get the point). When you take risks chances are you know things might go sideways and you’re prepared to cop the consequences.
However having a will suggests you want to do the right thing. That your intention is to protect your family. That you know the risks and are trying to avoid the consequences.
Which is what distresses me so much about folks unwittingly harbouring a ticking timebomb in their top draw and not in fact the glitter bomb of kindness they think they’re in possession of.
Becoming Strong Willed in 5 Easy Steps
Strong Willed people are in possession of the kind of will that isn’t going to blow up in anyone’s face.
Strong wills ensure all the important people are looked after when you’re no longer around to care for them yourself.
Strong wills tell the people you love you cared enough to do the hard work when you were alive, and not leave it up to them to argue, fight, defend, interpret or guess your wishes in your absence.
Here’s how to get yourself your very own Strong Will.
Step 1: Find a lawyer who will interpret your wishes BEFORE you’re dead.
Lawyers make a lot of money interpreting the wishes of dead people. A good estate planner will take the time to get to know you. They’ll listen to your instructions. They’ll ask you questions you didn’t even know you needed to include answers to in your will.
Then they’ll walk you step-by-step through ALL the legal implications of your choices before drawing up a will that truly reflects your wishes.
Step 2: Understand no matter how simple you think your life is, it’s not.
I’m yet to meet a person whose life can be neatly packaged up into a 26 question online will template. If the sum total of your assets are a widescreen TV and a set of steak knives, feel free to gallop down the DIY path.
If however you’re like 90% of people I meet and have any combination of a significant other, superannuation, a business, property, kids, pets, investments, insurance, loans, vehicles and/or any other financial, emotional or personal assets, you owe it to yourself to protect them properly. And a DIY will kit from the post office won’t do that in any way shape or form. And you are most certainly not covered by scribbling your wishes on the back of a napkin the night before you go off on boozy a boys weekend.
Step 3: Have the hard conversations with your people BEFORE you’re dead.
It’s an uncanny thing; the more people deal with death the better they get at talking about life. As a family lawyer it used to be my voice families heard, reading through the will of their loved one, trying to interpret their life, picking through the ruins, defending the hurt they’d inflicted.
Now I sit and let my strong willed people use their own voices to talk about their own life; what it looks like, what it’s been, what they dream of and wish for, what shape it will take at the end…
Being ‘willed’ is only one part of being Strong Willed. Strength is in the talking.
Step 4: As the story of your life changes, so too should your will.
Strong Willed people update their documents every couple of years as their life circumstances change. They know life isn’t set and forget and their wills are a chance to celebrate moving through all the levels of Adulting!
Step 5: Provide don’t punish.
Strong Willed people are happy to leave their will out for all to see because they’re not leaving any nasty surprises that need to stay hidden until judgement day. Their wills provide for their family they’re not being used as a weapon to reward or punish, to cast judgement or metre out revenge.
Good estate planning doesn't simply consider the mechanics of the law to the exclusion of all else.
Good estate planning means making the business of living as easy as possible for the people you love, when you’re no longer there.
In a world where you can be anything, be Strong Willed (and kind).
…….
Fiona Shilton is an estate lawyer, death coach and self appointed leader of the Strong Willed movement. She’s based in the Adelaide Hills but will travel to your home or business. To book an obligation free consultation, connect with Fiona at Your Estate Lawyer or email [email protected]
*All advice given here is general in nature. To ensure accuracy, we strongly recommend seeking independent, professional or legal advice - tailored to your specific situation - before making any decisions.